My first #tbrchallenge — woohoo!
- Title: Free Agent
- Author: Roz Lee
- Series: Mustangs Baseball, #0.5
- Published: State of Mind Publishing, May 2013
- Source: Purchased
- Length: 65 pages
- Tropes: BDSM, Insta-Lust, Insta-Love
- Quick blurb: Star ballplayer hooks up with new sub
- Quick review: *YAWN*
- Grade: D
“If you sign the contract tomorrow, we’ll seal the deal with a good fuck. How’s that?”
Yeesh. It’s a good thing this was a freebie, because it’s got every possible erotica cliché. I annotated every other paragraph with a variation of “Of course.”
- Honey-blonde hair hung in soft waves over bare shoulders, framing fine features, porcelain fair skin, and blue eyes. [Of course.]
- It was as if she saw past his defenses, right to his soul. [As he’s eye-fucking her while she’s fingering herself. Before they’ve even spoken. Because OF COURSE.]
- Brooke licked her lips…. [Of course she did. How else would he know she’s horny?]
- “…say yellow if you need a minute before we continue, red if you can’t take anymore.” [Because we all need BDSM 101 in every.single.book.]
- Glossy pink petals framed a perfectly shaped slit. [Of course it’s perfect. Duh.]
- …the most amazing orgasm of her life. [At their first actual encounter at the dungeon. Of course.]
- He’d claimed a part of her no one else ever had—her heart. [After their first encounter at the dungeon. And they’ve only shared first names. Of course.]
- Now, she understood. The real pleasure came from pleasing her master, not the other way around. [*yawn*]
- ...until he met Brooke, he hadn’t truly understood the submissive partner held as much power—perhaps more—than the dominant one. [*YAWN* Will this be on the quiz?]
Other random thoughts/observations:
- There is zero character- or relationship-building. These people are completely cardboard and interchangeable with every other bad erotica I’ve read.
- Might have been a D+ if not for the pluralizing-with-an-apostrophe egregiousness (“two single Dom’s looking…”) throughout.
- The meet-cute occurs at a munch. Yes, a “munch.” I cannot believe I’ve never come across that term before.
- The contract is “Concise and well written with headings, subheadings, and bullet points.” She wonders if a secretary prepared it for him. [No, really.]
- The word “slurping” is used.
- Secondary character is a sub named Candy. There are dessert jokes.
- The characters contradict themselves ALL THE TIME, sometimes even within the same sentence. “Punishment is not intended to be pleasant” — but then he teases her about being a pain slut and yammers on about how sexy her moans are. “I don’t enjoy leaving those marks” — but, um, dude, YOU’RE A DOM WITH A FLOGGER.
I was hoping for something quick and fun to prep for a Spring Training baseball theme. I’ll keep looking.