Update: J. Taylor Publishing “Will Not Respond”

J. Taylor Publishing - Updated Author FAQ

“We will not respond to any inquiry regarding this list.”

They say:

In alphabetical order …

  • Bestiality of any kind
  • Children’s books (Middle Grades stories are okay)
  • Editorial articles
  • Non-fiction (including textbooks)
  • Pedophilia (any physical relationship between minors and adults, whether for YA or Adult readers)
  • Picture books (of any kind, including coffee table books)
  • Poetry
  • Pornography
  • Previously published stories (whether self-published or published by another publisher)
  • Rape (male or female)
  • Same-sex romances
  • Stories with illegal activities without negative consequences
  • Stories written in a language other than English

We will not respond to any inquiry regarding this list.

I say:

I will respond by refusing to purchase your books, and encouraging fellow readers, reviewers and bloggers to do the same.

Statement from J. Taylor Publishing

My cautious optimism is fading…..

J. Taylor Publishing - Facebook Response - 8/8/12

“These items are mutually exclusive of one another, and nowhere on our site does it state or imply they are equated. This list is nothing more a list of topics we do not publish.”

If you are an author, editor, publisher or marketer, you should know that a list ALWAYS implies correlation. Claiming otherwise is disingenuous and demeaning to your audience.

[NOTE: The FB comment was not from me….]

Zero Visibility by Sharon Dunn

  • Zero Visibility by Sharon DunnTitle: Zero Visibility
  • Author: Sharon Dunn
  • Category/Series: Love Inspired Suspense
  • Genre(s): Contemporary, Inspirational, Suspense
  • Publisher: Harlequin, July 2012
  • Source: Provided by the publisher via NetGalley ($3.82 ebook)
  • Length: 224 pages
  • Trope(s): Love on the Run (and on Skis)
  • Quick blurb: A LOT of wandering around in the snow and hiding up trees to escape bad guys.
  • Quick review: Zero tension, zero chemistry. But lots and lots of o_0 moments.
  • Grade: C-

Now he knew why he had kissed her. They were in a life-and-death situation.

This book is sponsored by the Department of Very Convenient Coincidences.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  1. kelly_instalove
    If your book has the word “Zero” in the title, you are increasing the target area for my Darts of Mockery exponentially.

    Mon, Jul 30 2012 22:05:14
  2. Reading Progress

    07/30

    – 55.0%
    Another chock-full-o’-CRAY-ZAY. Snowbound in blizzard in
    mountains. Armed robbery. Snowmobile rescue. Kidnapping. A LOT of
    wandering around in the snow. Hiding up tree to escape bad guys.
    Smooching while hiding in tree. Knife fight. CROSSBOWS! CAVES!
    HELICOPTERS!

  3. kelly_instalove
    Escape on skis! But first they have to rescue a dog and return it to its elderly owners!

    Mon, Jul 30 2012 20:38:57
  4. kelly_instalove
    Now being chased by ski trail groomer! I don’t know what that is! Is that like a Zamboni?!

    Mon, Jul 30 2012 20:41:52
  5. kelly_instalove
    “Gambling usually involves people going through a lot of money.” Gee, thanks for that explanation #captainobvious

    Mon, Jul 30 2012 21:13:54
  6. kelly_instalove
    Ambushed on a deserted mountain road! Car rolls off a cliff! Heroine is thrown from car, but unhurt! Hero uses a log as a weapon!

    Mon, Jul 30 2012 21:35:38
  7. kelly_instalove
    Oh FFS. I read all this way for THAT? Are you kidding me??? Paging the Department of Very Convenient Coincidences….

    Mon, Jul 30 2012 21:42:28
  8. Liz_Mc2
    @kelly_instalove Is there anything that *doesn’t* happen in this book?

    Mon, Jul 30 2012 22:10:49

One-Quote Review: Portside by Elyan Smith

  • Title: Portside
  • Portside by Elyan SmithAuthor: Elyan Smith
  • Series: N/A
  • Genre(s): GLBTQ
  • Publisher:  Riptide Publishing,  June 2012
  • Source: Provided by the publisher via NetGalley ($2.99 ebook)
  • Length: 35 pages
  • Trope(s): Virgin, Sex-for-Hire
  • Quick blurb: Lonely and reclusive Iwan briefly escapes his dreary coastal town to find self-acceptance with a London rentboy.
  • Quick review: I have no effin’ clue how to review this HFN novella.
  • Grade: B

“Have a good night,” he said, when he wanted to add something like “stay” and “let’s make it out” and suddenly find all his romantic feelings on his sleeve for someone that fucking perfect.

Dark and distant and desperate, but in a good way. And yes, I know that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but it’s going to take me a few re-reads to figure out how to describe where this story took me.

One-Quote Review: Skybound by Aleksandr Voinov

  • Skybound by Aleksandr VoinovTitle: Skybound
  • Author: Aleksandr Voinov
  • Series: N/A
  • Genre(s): M/M, Historical (WW2)
  • Publisher:  Riptide Publishing,  August 2012
  • Source: Provided by the publisher via NetGalley ($2.99 ebook)
  • Length: 44 pages
  • Trope(s): Military,Virgin, Beta Hero, Unrequited Love
  • Quick blurb: German plane mechanic longs and lusts for his unit’s ace fighter pilot.
  • Quick review: Despite the setting, this novella  somehow manages to be quiet, intimate and very, very romantic.
  • Grade: A-

We stand there and just kiss, and with every touch, we seem to explain and apologise, and bridge that gap that yawned between us.

I love it when I can just sink in and wallow in the language, and let it take me along wherever the author wants to go. And so far, I’m willing to follow Voinov wherever he’s heading.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I lied….

This will be more of a Six-Quote Review.

…Everything stops existing when he takes off, as if he takes it all with him when he goes up there, to places I’ll never see again.

…I can’t exactly run after him, so I tighten my fingers around the bullet. It felt like I owned it when I pulled it from his seat, like that one polished stone amidst a million on a beach that catches your attention and feels like it’s meant for you alone.

…If the world ends tomorrow, how will I go? Without ever having risked anything, or having done the one thing I can’t stop thinking about?

…We race towards something so amazing and precious it strikes me dumb with its immenseness. I lose every sense of myself, every thought; there’s just emotion and utter fulfillment.

…”I’m not going anywhere. Not while you’re still hurt. Not ever, if I can help it.”

It took me an hour to finish this pathetic excuse for a rave recommendation because I had to keep re-reading my notes and highlights.

Cowboy’s Triplet Trouble by Carla Cassidy

  • The Cowboy's Triplet Trouble by Carla CassidyTitle: Cowboy’s Triplet Trouble
  • Author: Carla Cassidy
  • Category/Series: Romantic Suspense, Top Secret Deliveries
  • Genre(s): Contemporary, Suspense (???)
  • Publisher:  Harlequin,  October 2011
  • Source: Amazon, $3.82 ebook
  • Length: 224 pages
  • Trope(s): Cowboy, Single Mother, Plot Moppets (x3!!!), Beta Hero, Sibling Drama, One-Night Stand, Secret Babies (x3!!!)
  • Quick blurb: Single mother of triplets tracks down Baby Daddy to Oklahoma ranch, where she mistakes his identical triplet brother (yes, really) as her one-night stand.
  • Quick review: I am clearly MUCH too cynical to enjoy books like this.
  • Grade: D+

The only thing he knew for sure was that a man brandishing a gun shouldn’t be inside Grace’s house.

Full disclosure….

The reason I chose this book was because there are triplets in my family. I’ve seen and experienced first-hand what it takes to survive parenting multiples. I knew there would be numerous “oh, NUH-UH” moments that I could giggle over and share with snarky glee.

And those expectations were fulfilled in oh so many wonderful ways – primarily because THESE BABIES ARE CYBORGS. They are mini robots programmed to be the Perfect Plot Moppets:

  • They are named alphabetically (Abby, Bonnie, Casey).
  • They wear color-coded outfits.
  • They fall asleep and wake at the exact same time, without a whimper.
  • They sit quietly on the floor and play with toys.
  • They wait patiently for meals and baths.
  • They nap peacefully in their car seats during long road trips.

But wait – there’s more! These babies NEVER CRY. Ever. Except when tears and wailing are useful to the plot in the second-to-last chapter.

Example:

Hero and heroine take triplets out for dinner and have long, intimate, soul-baring conversation. While the babies eat spaghetti.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

These babies are so Stepford perfect that at TEN MONTHS their SINGLE MOTHER is completely comfortable driving them to their UNKNOWN BABY DADDY’S HOUSE hours away and STAYING IN A MOTEL. But then, having magically-appearing baby gear and a car bewitched with an Undetectable Extension Charm like Hermione’s purse or Mary Poppins’ carpet bag probably helps.

Example:

The three car seats can be easily removed from Grace’s car and installed in (a) bench seat of a king-cab pickup AND (b) backseat of a cop car. Within minutes. With no swearing.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

So, now for the not-funny parts….

I recently read another Carla Cassidy book, and while it wasn’t mind-blowing, I did enjoy the suspense and the characters. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen at all with this book.

I found it boring because the cardboard protagonists never change. From start to finish, he’s the Stoic Cowboy with a Heart of Gold and she’s the Perfectly Perfect Schoolteacher (except for that one-night moment of drunken weakness, of course). These two have a very noticeable lack of personality.

Even worse, the internal angstifying was unbearably repetitive:

She wasn’t expecting instant happiness from Justin, but what she was hoping for was some sort of acceptance of the situation and the happiness would come later.

By the end of the first chapter, WE KNOW that she’s not after money or marriage. But we’re still confronted with her thoughts on it over and over and over. The hero’s inner drama is just as numbing:

He’d spent most of his life shouldering responsibilities to make life easier on everyone else around him. Now what he wanted more than anything was just to be left alone.

How often are we reminded of this? The word “alone” appears in the book FORTY-FOUR (44) times. My god, we get it already, all right?

I have a few other Carla Cassidy books on my “maybe” shelf and most are rated highly, so I’m hoping this one was just an anomaly.