Oh Dear God: Red Knight Rising by Alex Ironrod

An Open Letter to MLR Press:

Red Knight Rising by Alex Ironrod

Dear MLR Press:

(A) I will pay NINE DOLLARS for this only if you PROMISE to use my profits to hire someone who knows how to use use Photoshop. That is one of the WORST covers I have seen in a long time. I’d blame it on the designer, but I think the real punishment should be administered to the editor who approved that freakish mess of crap.

(B) Alex Ironrod. Ironrod. Alex IRONROD. Really? Are you trying to insult us?

Then again, after reading the blurb and the excerpt, maybe you are.

Good luck with that.

Thanks but no thanks,


The blurb:

Rousing adventure and fierce BDSM love draw two young English knights together to fight on one of the Crusades in the Middle Ages.

Battling young warriors.BDSM love.Fierce passions.Adventures in exotic lands.

At the time of the Crusades, as young Harry becomes a knight and Earl of Derby, he falls in love – or is it lust – with the brawny, but penniless, Bruce, Lord Berwick.

Wrestling in a relationship forbidden by their church , the two of them join the Crusader army of the sadistic, legendary warrior King Richard The Lionheart. They face challenges to their sexual needs, and adventures that strengthen their fighting skills, as they campaign across Europe and the Holy Land.

Forced to perform BDSM service and then torn apart by their king and the war, can they survive?

Source: Goodreads

Excerpts from the excerpt:

That morning he had been initiated into knighthood, dubbed by King Henry himself. Now he was on his way to be finally initiated into man-sex by his Red Knight, Bruce of Berwick.


“…Let me help you out of your uniform of purity into your own pure nakedness.”


“You know it will hurt this first time? My dick is large and my need is great too. But I’m going to stretch your hole, first with my fingers covered in this grease and then with this leather plug. We will pleasure one another while your chute learns to expand. So prepare yourself, my own Henry.”


The young man’s virgin torso began to sweat as it accepted more of the foreign intruder and his muscles allowed the log entry, testing their new-found strength against the leather until it sank fully home.


Once again Harry took hold of the mighty muscle, marveling at its velvety texture, pulsing and thrusting in his fingers.


Pricks broke free and banged happily against one another. They were two male animals, rutting together and grunting with pride and desire. The pains he’d initially felt from the leather plug had dissolved into shudders of pleasure as his body continued to accept the log inside him.


As he gasped in surprise, the leather log inside him began to slip out. Suddenly he was empty and wanting – wanting a real man’s prick inside him, a real poleax to penetrate his weakened defenses. His Master knelt behind him, the perfect knight with the perfect weapon to impose his needs on him.

Source: MLR Press

3 thoughts on “Oh Dear God: Red Knight Rising by Alex Ironrod

  1. So …. the “red knight”‘s what he names his penis, yes?

    I could have done without that use of the word “chutes” – because you know sooner or later there’s going to be a gay fireman romance called “Chutes and Ladders.”

  2. Kelly says:

    So if Edward II was nicknamed “The Black Prince,” that means…..

    The knights and the firefighters will have “uniforms of purity,” so at least we don’t need to worry about safety issues.

  3. julaine says:

    All I can think about when I look at that cover is that they’re going to die of gangrene from their festering wounds from gripping their swords like that so they have much bigger problems to worry about. Then the irony of making King Richard the Lionhearted the villian in a m/m romance just tips the scale over to WB (wallbanger) for me. Lack of basic research on an author’s part kills a book for me.

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