The Black Sheep Sheik by Dana Marton

  • The Black Sheep Sheik by Dana MartonTitle: The Black Sheep Sheik
  • Author: Dana Marton
  • Category/Series: Intrigue, Cowboys Royale miniseries
  • Genre(s): Contemporary, Suspense
  • Publisher:  Harlequin,  September 2011
  • Source: Amazon, $3.82 ebook
  • Length: 220 pages
  • Trope(s): Sheik, Alpha Male, Manwhore, One-Night Stand, Secret Baby, Pregnant Heroine, Coma, Kidnapping, Gangsters
  • Quick blurb: Sheik awakens from month-long coma thanks to Lady Doctor who is nine months pregnant with his Secret Baby.
  • Quick review: Author Dana Marton pulls out all the stops to save Kelly’s Month o’ Harlequin Experiment from its downward trajectory!
  • Grade: B
  1. kelly_instalove
    Continuing my Harlequin Experiment with Intrigue titled “Black Sheep Sheik.” I am determined to relax and enjoy it without cynicism.
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 17:47:21
  2. kelly_instalove
    Pregnant Lady Doctor: “I’m not marrying you and you can’t make me.” Cowboy Sheik: *glares regally*
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 18:16:33
  3. Liz_Mc2
    @kelly_instalove You know there are less crazy ones, right?
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 18:21:18
  4. sunita_d
    @kelly_instalove I, for one, salute you. I have been unable to bring myself to read about Cowboy Sheikhs. @Liz_Mc2
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 18:23:37
  5. kelly_instalove
    “I think I preferred you in a coma. You’re much nicer when you’re not talking.” I think I like this heroine #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 18:25:08
  6. kelly_instalove
    “I am your future husband. You should not think angry thoughts about me.” #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 18:27:52
  7. kelly_instalove
    “I’m thinking whether I’d lose my medical license if I strangled you with the IV line, Your Highness.” ::fistpump:: #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 18:29:26
  8. kelly_instalove
    Cowboy Sheik shoots bad guys with antique hunting rifle. Pregnant Lady Doctor ogles his ass through the open flap of his hospital gown.
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 18:52:40
  9. kelly_instalove
    He: “I’m out of bullets. Do you have more?” She: “Sure, and check for that grenade launcher under the seat.” I *really* like this heroine.
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 18:56:37
  10. kelly_instalove
    “Could you not accuse me of attempted murder in the middle of a high-speed, armed chase? It’s the first time I’m doing something like this.”
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 19:01:12
  11. kelly_instalove
    “Believe me, this is not your usual coma recovery.” #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 19:11:01
  12. kelly_instalove
    Two hours after awakening from month-long coma, Cowboy Sheik’s manhood has returned with a vengeance, ready to make up for lost time.
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 19:17:15
  13. kelly_instalove
    No need for paternity test; unborn son’s distinctive sheik-esque chin is clearly visible on ultrasound. #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 19:33:15
  14. JenniferRNN
    @kelly_instalove Really? How can people not want to read romances like these?
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 19:36:44
  15. willaful
    @kelly_instalove Also, he’s wearing a tiny cowboy hat and boots.
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 19:35:16
  16. JanetNorCal
    @willaful @kelly_instalove You are bad! I wondered if “chin” was substituting for another part of the anatomy.
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 19:37:20
  17. willaful
    @JanetNorCal @kelly_instalove Think how painful it will be to deliver a baby with such broad shoulders.
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 20:19:49
  18. kelly_instalove
    Cowboy Sheik is a seven-time veteran of the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona. More details to come after they escape hail of bullets. Again.
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 19:40:58
  19. kelly_instalove
    Cue entrance of Russian mob. #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 19:44:52
  20. kelly_instalove
    “Danger and romance are not as incompatible as one would think….” #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 19:46:40
  21. kelly_instalove
    “…why action flicks rarely featured pregnant women. No movies called The Gestating Spy or Mission: Maternity ever topped the box office.”
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 19:50:19
  22. kelly_instalove
    Pregnant Lady Doctor escapes kidnappers by using earring to pick lock. #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 19:53:15
  23. kelly_instalove
    “You’re getting used to me. You’ll barely notice that we’re married.” #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 20:07:52
  24. kelly_instalove
    “The regular rules of conduct could take a break when you were in middle of woods, have been kidnapped and were about ready to have a baby.”
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 20:42:39
  25. kelly_instalove
    I am much better at multi-tasking at home than I am at work.
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 20:50:32
  26. kelly_instalove
    Bad Guy: “Hotter than a whorehouse on nickel night out here.” #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 20:51:12
  27. kelly_instalove
    Heroine uses Phillips-head screwdriver found in car as weapon. Which is fortunate, because a mere flat-head screwdriver just wouldn’t do.
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 20:56:19
  28. kelly_instalove
    I don’t think Cowboy Sheik knows about the six-week post-partum no-sex thing. He’s going to be awfully disappointed. #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:04:20
  29. HeidiBelleau
    @kelly_instalove Haha six weeks? It’s been like a year and my vag is still basically a no-go zone.
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:05:50
  30. ann_somerville
    @HeidiBelleau gee I’m glad you shared that with us all :) @kelly_instalove
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:08:06
  31. HeidiBelleau
    @ann_somerville @kelly_instalove sorry I have no filter lol
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:08:58
  32. kelly_instalove
    Trap door under rug proves difficult to open. If only they had a flat-head screwdriver. #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:09:13
  33. kelly_instalove
    I think this trap door is the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets. I hope they speak Parseltongue. #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:14:09
  34. kelly_instalove
    ” ‘Look out for snakes,’ she suggested.” SEE??? I *told* you. #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:15:34
  35. kelly_instalove
    Flashback to meet-cute at costume party. She: Belly dancer. He: Persian prince. I was wondering how author was going to get sexy times in.
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:19:08
  36. kelly_instalove
    He mesmerizes her with A LOOK and leads her out to the balcony. Her reputation as a virginal maiden is *ruined.* Oh, wait – wrong book.
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:21:06
  37. kelly_instalove
    Oh FFS, flashback was just a dream and take a wild guess when she wakes up. So unfair. #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:27:32
  38. kelly_instalove
    “She could see those hands wrapped around the steering wheel of some superexpensive sports car, or reining in a wild camel.”
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:30:11
  39. kelly_instalove
    “Or holding their baby.” #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:30:23
  40. kelly_instalove
    Hero: “You’re not going to get away with this.” Bad Guy: “We’ll just have to agree to disagree on that, I’m afraid.” #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:34:45
  41. kelly_instalove
    FYI: The Royal Palace of Jamala is surrounded by lemon tress. #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:40:11
  42. kelly_instalove
    “he needed to find the end of this tunnel and clear the exit, then he needed to widen the hole in the floor so she would fit through it.”
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:49:16
  43. kelly_instalove
    “It was official. Pregnancy hormones did give her brain damage.” Sing it, sister. #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:56:13
  44. kelly_instalove
    “So help me God, I will shoot you dead right now, right here. I’m a pregnant woman in labor. Do I look like I’m kidding?” #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 21:58:32
  45. kelly_instalove
    “The warrior blood of his ancestors rushed in his veins. Savagery filled him and he embraced it. He would not let her be harmed.”
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 22:13:04
  46. kelly_instalove
    “Now is SO not the best time to go medieval on me.” #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 22:16:42
  47. kelly_instalove
    Royal wedding! Bride wears jewel-studded breastfeeding bra. I’m not kidding. This book is AWESOME. #BlackSheepSheik
    Fri, Aug 03 2012 22:22:56

Season for Love by Marie Force

  • Season for Love by Marie ForceTitle: Season for Love
  • Author: Marie Force
  • Series: The McCarthys of Gansett Island, Book 6
  • Genre(s): Contemporary
  • Publisher: HTJB, Inc., June 2012
  • Source: Amazon, $3.99 ebook
  • Length: 296 pages
  • Trope(s): Small Town, Rebound, Tragic Past, Pregnant Heroine
  • Quick blurb: Musician with Tragic Past and wanderlust falls for pregnant lady who’s not divorced yet.
  • Quick review: Disappointing, but I’m not ready to give up on this series yet.
  • Grade: C-

I feel so guilty giving this only C-, but it just didn’t work for me. I’m so guilt-ridden that this review is more than a little rambling and more than a little spoilery….

I loved the main characters of the previous books in the Gansett Island series, but their completely sappy anecdotes in this book just interrupted the flow of the story and completely threw me out of my reading trance several times.

Anyone who hasn’t read the other books in the series will have NO clue who these people are, and it’s a waste of exposition to give us their backstories. Readers like me who have devoured the previous books already know that McCarthys & Friends have the most romantic, sex-filled marriages ever, and one book for each couple is enough.

And then we get more Tiffany and Blaine. And now Carolina and Seamus. And now Dan and Kara. And soon Jenny and whoever (probably Adam). It’s just too many couples to care about, and I don’t want to have to choose which chapters to skip.

I’m also getting very frustrated with the continuing emphasis on the “Let’s Rebound Into A New Relationship With No Downtime Whatsoever!” theme. Janey. Sydney. Laura. Tiffany. I think the tourist brochures for Gansett Island must have a tagline like “Where Fabulous Single Men Appear Out Of Nowhere Whenever A Damsel In Distress Needs One.”

Laura and Owen actually do discuss “she can’t live without a man” (a thought planted by the Evil Ex-Husband), but it’s quickly glossed over and forgotten. As a divorced single parent, I get *really* tetchy reading romances that ignore the struggle for self-esteem and self-sufficiency or treat it as an afterthought.

I’m also confused about Jenny the Lighthouse Keeper. We get an entire chapter of her sob story at the beginning, and then she’s reduced to cameo appearances in two throwaway scenes. I know it’s setting her up for her own storyline, but why include the tragic backstory here? And a “Tell Us Your Life Story” essay question might be believable for a college application, but not for a job.

I’m not ready to give up on this series yet, but I hope the next installment features more relationship building and less soap opera.

Hot on Her Trail by Sable Hunter

  • Title: Hot on Her TrailHot on Her Trail by Sable Hunter
  • Author: Sable Hunter
  • Series: Book 2 in the Hell Yeah! series
  • Genre(s): Contemporary, Erotica
  • Publisher: Self-Published, February 2011
  • Purchase: Amazon, free in Kindle Lending Library (regular $4.99)
  • Tropes: Insta-Love, Virgin Heroine, Cowboy Alpha Male, Serial Killer, Magical Orgasm Cure, TSTL
  • Quick blurb: Homeless orphaned dyslexic pregnant virgin hides out in baby daddy’s barn to escape her bipolar stalker/serial killer.
  • Quick snark: A return to Tebow Ranch, where the women are childlike virgins and the men are misogynistic fuckwads.
  • Grade: F

Soooo, after laughing my way through the first book of this series, I strapped on my big-girl undies for Book 2:

Jacob McCoy wishes for a wife and a family. Tis the Season for miracles when a young woman shows up on his doorstep: homeless, in danger and expecting a child – Jacob’s child.

Their relationship is complicated by the fact that, A – they’ve never met before and B – she’s a virgin. Jessie is determined not to be a burden to the McCoy family. As far as she’s concerned, she is just passing through. Jacob has a different opinion – he wants Jessie in his life, in his bed and in his heart.

It’s a good thing I suited up in protective gear, because in between the vomit-inducing Insta-Love and some serious WTFery, this book PISSED ME OFF. Therefore, I am subtitling this review:

A Return To Tebow Ranch: Where The Women Are Childlike Virgins And The Men Are Misogynistic Fuckwads.

This is going to take a while, so fasten your seatbelts – it’s going to be a long and wild ride. Like getting your bra strap caught on the fake horns of a mechanical bull and you can’t get off until someone takes pity on you and unplugs the damn thing.

Warning: If you don’t like spoilers or dirty words, go elsewhere. You know, in case that “fuckwads” thing wasn’t a big enough hint.

Read the rest of the review at DearAuthor.com