Tag Archives: angst

One-Quote Review: Any Duchess Will Do by Tessa Dare

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Any Duchess Will Do by Tessa Dare

  • Title: Any Duchess Will Do
  • Author: Tessa Dare
  • Series: Spindle Cove, Book 4
  • Genre(s): Historical
  • Publisher: Avon, May 2013
  • Source: Edelweiss
  • Length: 384 pages
  • Trope(s): Smartass Heroine, Brooding Duke, Marriage-Obsessed Mama, Bad Knitting
  • Quick blurb: Duke’s mother declares she can turn a barmaid into a duchess in one week.
  • Quick review: Shut up and quit bugging me, I have to read the whole series again.
  • Grade: A-

Her. I’ll take her.

The only other time I’ve used a gif in a review was the previous book in this series. So…yeah.
My Sweet Babboo

One-Quote Review: Never Too Late by Amara Royce

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Never Too Late by Amara Royce

  • Title: Never Too Late
  • Author: Amara Royce
  • Genre(s): Historical
  • Publisher: Kensington, May 2013
  • Source: NetGalley
  • Length: 226 pages
  • Trope(s): Bookselling Widow, Angsty Nobleman, Age Gap, Blackmail, Deep Dark Secrets
  • Quick blurb: Young viscount falls in love with the older widow he’s been blackmailed into ruining.
  • Quick review: A bit uneven, but I’m really looking forward to this debut author’s next title.
  • Grade: B-

“I will never be done with you,” he said, low and fierce.

While I had issues with the rather melodramatic plot and the heroine’s Deep Dark Secret, I loved Royce’s voice and storytelling. The hero and heroine were equally compelling, the relationship-building was spot-on, and the sexy times were hot.

One-Quote Review: Hold Me Down Hard by Cathryn Fox

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Hold Me Down Hard by Cathryn Fox

  • Title: Hold Me Down Hard
  • Author: Cathryn Fox
  • Genre(s): Contemporary, Erotica
  • Publisher: Entangled (Flirt), May 2013
  • Source: NetGalley
  • Length: 51 pages
  • Trope(s): Small-Town Girl in the Big City, Sexy Cop
  • Quick blurb: Actress gets sexy cop neighbor to “run lines” so she can nail (wink, wink) an upcoming role.
  • Quick review: Too short for Full Snark. Almost DNFed it.
  • Grade: D

“Actually, these lines seem a bit cheesy.”

I had to choose that quote. How could I not choose that quote? I requested this solely for the “naive Iowa farm girl” bit in the blurb, and the nicest thing I have to say is that it’s exactly what I expected.

This short story (a very strange choice for Entangled’s Flirt line) is one erotica cliché after another (except a billionaire CEO), with some eye-rolling attempts at ridiculously superficial characterization.

One-Quote Review: After Hours by Cara McKenna

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After Hours by Cara McKenna

  • Title: After Hours
  • Author: Cara McKenna
  • Genre(s): Contemporary, Erotica
  • Publisher: Penguin/Intermix, April 2013
  • Source: NetGalley
  • Length: 281 pages
  • Trope(s): Loners, Annoying Siblings, Tragic Pasts
  • Quick blurb: A rookie psychiatric nurse gets involved – very reluctantly – with her enigmatic coworker.
  • Quick review: Just add me to all the other “holy shit wow” reviews.
  • Grade: A-

“What we have between us is strong and stupid.”

When I beg for “something different,” THIS is what I mean. Difficult, dark characters in a desperate, almost desolate setting, and McKenna makes it all subversively romantic.

One-Quote Review: Lady with the Devil’s Scar by Sophia James

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Yes, I’m still here. I have a boatload of reviews in the backlog, so be prepared for a influx of One-Quote Wonders.

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  • Lady with the Devil's Scar by Sophia JamesTitle: Lady with the Devil’s Scar
  • Author: Sophia James
  • Genre(s): Historical
  • Publisher: Harlequin, August 2012
  • Source: Amazon ($4.61 ebook)
  • Length: 288 pages
  • Trope(s): Scarred Heroine, Illegitimate Loner Hero, Vengeful King
  • Quick blurb: Daughter of infamous Highland rebel fights and flirts with French mercenary sent to destroy her castle.
  • Quick review: Strong characters and good historical world-building, but not something I’ll read again.
  • Grade: B-

He kissed like a warrior would, taking what he needed without discourse to the properness of society, her timid answer pushed away into sheer and blazing want.

Sophia James, along with Julia Justiss and Elizabeth Rolls, was one of my “gateway” Harlequin Historical authors – I glommed her entire backlist when I first got my Kindle.

James is one of those authors that I enjoy, but not enough to rave about, and Lady With the Devil’s Scar fits right in that middle territory – I liked it, but not enough to displace any of my favorites.

Coming up next: The Sophia James Backlist Binge….

The Pianist in the Dark by Michele Halberstadt

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The Pianist in the Dark by Michele Halberstadt

  • Title: The Pianist in the Dark
  • Author: Michele Halberstadt
  • Genre(s): Historical
  • Publisher: Pegasus Books, July 2011
  • Source: Purchased*
  • Length: 150 pages
  • Trope(s): Musician, Physician, Disability, Overbearing Aristocratic Parents, Good and Faithful Servant
  • Quick blurb: Celebrity physician attempts to cure virtuoso pianist of blindness.
  • Quick review: So much potential, so much disappointment.
  • Grade: D+

It was imperative that, upon being introduced to her, he be seized by sudden inspiration.

The Pianist in the Dark is based on the true story of 17-year-old virtuoso Maria Theresia von Paradis, the only child of a high-ranking Austrian diplomat. Maria Theresia has been blind since the age of three, and while she’s made a name for herself as a musician in music-mad 1770s Vienna, her father has subjected her to endless painful and humiliating treatments to restore her sight.

When famed physician Franz Mesmer — he of the “magnetism cure” for anxieties, neuroses, epilepsy and other “nervous disorders” — offers his services, Maria Theresia’s father agrees and send her off to live at Mesmer’s house/hospital.

Mesmer quickly lives up to his soon-to-be-verbified name, enthralling his young patient not only with his charisma and sincerity, but even more so with his respect for her as an autonomous young woman rather than her father’s puppet.

She knew what would cure her, even if he didn’t. It wasn’t her desire to see. It was her desire to please him. This energy he felt was the love he’d inspired in her.

As you might imagine, their relationship becomes intimate…

The punches became caresses, and the screams sighs and shouts.

…but only after her vision remarkably improves. Maria Theresia seemingly flourishes under his care, in and out of the bedroom, until her father insists on allowing Mesmer’s medical rivals to examine his daughter. Terrified to reveal that gaining sight has ruined her abilities at the keyboard, and knowing that Mesmer will sacrifice her to save his career, she is unable to convince the sceptics and is forced to return to her parents’ home.

“I am lost, don’t you see? You’ve destroyed something and replaced it with nothing. I’m not blind, but I cannot see. I’m living in a muddled limbo where I can’t see much of anything and struggle to learn things that a three-year-old understands. I am no longer myself, but I haven’t become someone else.”

Eventually, with the help of a loyal servant, Maria Theresia establishes her own household and gains back her musical abilities — but only after deliberately ruining her eyesight permanently.

“Girls who love Christ become nuns. I love music so much that I will dedicate my life to it. Sight impaired my playing. I give it up with no regrets. It has brought me pipe dreams, no more.”

An amazing true-life story, and a perfect inspiration for angsty, romantic historical fiction, right?

It could have been.

Unfortunately, the glaringly uneven storytelling left me both cringing at the prose and craving this story told by a different author. Book blurbs call Halberstadt a “renowned French writer and film producer,” but unless something went dreadfully wrong in translation, I’m not feeling the love for her fiction writing at all.

In the opening chapters, the mix of present and past tense, combined with very strange and abrupt switches in narrative voice, immediately set me on edge. Based on the opening paragraph…

SHE DOESN’T KNOW THE COLOR OF THE SKY OR THE shape of the clouds, doesn’t know the meaning of blue or red, of dark or pale. She lives in blackness. This is the word they have given to what she describes. She can make out light by its heat, its smell, sometimes even its sound: the flickering of a candle, the crackling of fire. She knows that daytime throbs with agitation and that silence awaits nightfall to be heard. Luckily for her, listening is what she does best.

…I thought, “Oh GAWD, present-tense pretentiousness, but maybe I can live with it.”

Then, in chapter two, we get a completely different narrator:

So while music teachers instructed Maria Theresia in song and harmony, men of science turned her into their guinea pig, alternating bloodletting with purges and cauteries, putting leeches on her eyelids, confining her head to cataplasms for days on end, and even trying a new discovery: electrical seizure induction. So painful were the treatments that new symptoms soon appeared: nervous trembling, attacks of panic, uncontrollable sobbing at dusk—and the blindness never diminished. By the time Joseph Anton admitted that the various procedures to which his daughter was submitted only made her worse, he had succeeded in weakening both her health and her nerves.

In the very next paragraph, we get both:

At seventeen, Mademoiselle Paradis, born a child prodigy and blind soon after, passionate and docile, had grown into a graceful young adult with sophisticated manners—a reputed virtuoso pianist who, behind her beautiful and smooth face, hides the violent torments of a troubled, melancholic temperament. She knows she is misunderstood, feels unloved, and trusts no one.

And at the end of chapter two, we return to the Documentary Voice-Over:

She felt that being blind was the only power she had over them. She was the object of their obsession, the subject of their confrontations, but without her, her blindness, they would have nothing to discuss. Her handicap freed her from her parents and at the same time enabled the three of them to remain a family.

And so it goes. Chapter nine opens with three paragraphs in present tense, then switches to past tense. Chapter twelve is the opposite. For the love God, PICK ONE AND STAY WITH IT. Or maybe that’s a French thing?

While the verb tense issues were merely distracting and annoying, the inconsistent narrative voice was so discordant (a musical metaphor, HA!) that I came close to DNFing this short book several times. Rather than allow the compelling character of Maria Theresia to share her own story, Halberstadt veers between Wikipeida-lite historical factoids…

Since advancing his thesis on celestial bodies, Mesmer had become convinced that a mutual influence existed among the stars, the earth, and human beings. According to him, this influence was transmitted via a fluid that restored the nerves to health.

In 1772, following in the footsteps of Father Hell, a Jesuit astrology professor who prided himself on curing people with magnets, Mesmer adapted his procedure of magnetic healing but soon clashed with the priest. He then pretended to have discovered the method himself and accused Hell of plagiarism.

The following year, when he met a Swiss priest, Father Gassner, who practiced exorcism, Mesmer decided to give up magnets and apply his own hands instead. The former water diviner/healer determined that his body itself was a conduit of the curative fluid, of the energy that relieved the pain engendered by nervous ills.

…and loooong, soul-baring monologues:

 “Yes, Nina, here I have learned cynicism and bitterness, two feelings that were foreign to me. For a long time my blindness protected me from a reality that is not pretty to behold. What I have discovered scares me much more than the shadows that surrounded me. I have opened my eyes to a world that I knew nothing of, and it grows more and more disappointing every day. There is no room in it for simple, naïve souls who think that happiness is all about loving others. You can’t get by on love, or art. Ambition is the force that drives this world. People care more about clawing their way to fame and manipulating others than they do about what makes a concerto work.”

She took Nina’s hands in her own.

“I can admit it to you: I am having difficulty playing the piano because I have to learn to stop staring at the keyboard. But this is not the only reason. I have lost the faith I had in music. I used to think it would help me express emotions that an audience could share with me. During a concert the listeners and I would engage in a sort of conversation. There was an exchange between what I gave them and the way they received it. Their listening returned to me my emotion a hundredfold. Well, I no longer believe that. People listen and they are probably moved, but their attention is distracted by what’s running through their minds, and now I fear that they send back to me nothing other than their own vanity. They have no time to be affected by the music, even though music alone has the power to raise their hearts and ease their minds. They cannot be bothered. This is what preoccupies me now when I play. I analyze the world coldly. I no longer idealize it. As I’ve lost my conviction in my talent, I can’t convince anyone with my talent. This is what I’ve become, Nina. A girl without illusions. Music has ceased being my dream world. Now that I see the real world, I live with nightmares.”

For the LOVE OF GOD, don’t TELL us, SHOW us. Or maybe that’s a French thing too?

A few truly affecting scenes, including a confrontation with an jealous opposing physician and brief moment during a Paris concert at the end of the book, redeemed this story slightly, but these glimpses only left me wanting more character-driven emotional subtlety and a lot less info- and angst-dumping.

My first instinct was a C- grade, but after looking over my own grading criteria, I had to go with a D+ for the Big Disappointment and something I really can’t recommend to anyone.

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*I purchased my Kindle version in November (Black Friday) when it was on sale for only $1.88. This 150-page book is now $9.39 on Amazon and $11.19 on Barnes & Noble, which is why I’m not providing any buy links.

The digital list price is $13.99. For 150 pages. Idiots.

One-Quote Reviews: Strangers on a Train

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I’d go with an “All Aboard!” intro, but that would be too cheesy even for me. Beware of CAPSLOCK OF RAGE and FANGIRL SQUEE (not in the same story, thank god.)

<whining>

Before we get to the good stuff, a brief plea to Samhain Publishing: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, FIX YOUR EBOOK FORMATTING. The default 6pt font and forced sans serif is beyond annoying — it makes me cringe every time I open a recent Samhain title. I’m willing to put up with it for trusted authors, but it is a definite barrier to trying new ones.

</whining>

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Back on Track by Donna Cummings

Back on Track by Donna Cummings

  • Title: Back on Track
  • Author: Donna Cummings
  • Series: Strangers on a Train
  • Genre(s): Contemporary
  • Publisher: Samhain, April 2013
  • Source: Review copy provided by author ($2.10 ebook)
  • Length: 67 pages
  • Trope(s): Working Girl, Celebrity/Commoner, Athlete
  • Quick blurb: “Two Truths and a Lie” icebreaker leads to a mini-Big-Misunderstanding between a marketing exec and a pro baseball player.
  • Quick review: Not bad, but not memorable.
  • Grade: C

“Does he wear mismatched socks that haven’t been washed in months? To keep a winning streak alive?”

She shook her head, biting back a smile.

“Really?”

“No, he wore smiley-face footie socks. With a tiny pompon in the back.”

Cummings is a new-to-me author, and I didn’t find much of a “voice” in her writing, especially compared to her veteran co-authors. I was put off on the first page by the BFF “patting her perfect blonde hair into place,” the h/h chemistry felt superficial, and I was disappointed that the “wine train” premise wasn’t woven into the story.

Also, the cover is a little eye-rolling — very few (if any) major league pitchers are built like NFL linebackers.

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Tight Quarters by Samantha Hunter

Tight Quarters by Samantha Hunter

  • Title: Tight Quarters
  • Author: Samantha Hunter
  • Series: Strangers on a Train
  • Genre(s): Contemporary
  • Publisher: Samhain, April 2013
  • Source: Review copy provided by author ($2.66 ebook)
  • Length: 77 pages
  • Trope(s): Mental Illness, PTSD, Magical Orgasm Cure, Worst Therapist EVER
  • Quick blurb: Claustrophobic writer and retired cop find themselves booked into the same sleeper cabin.
  • Quick review: This story PISSED ME OFF. A LOT.
  • Grade: D (very, very close to being a DNF)

He wanted to tell her he was sorry for being so cavalier about her phobia. Anyone who had lived through that hell would end up with some kind of damage, and she was fighting it.

Lesson learned from this story: The only phobias and anxieties worthy of sympathy are those triggered by tragedy and trauma. All others are fair game for shame and ridicule.

In other words, a big FUCK YOU to readers like me who don’t have a heart-wrenching backstory to blame for their irrational fears and panic attacks.

The writing was good — really good. But HELL FUCKING NO on the Magical Orgasm Cure. I’ll save the rest of my CAPSLOCK OF RAGE for my upcoming (someday) theme on mental illness, but here’s a teaser: If a crippling fear disappears in the presence of testosterone, it’s not a “phobia.” IT DOESN”T WORK THAT WAY.

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Ticket Home by Serena Bell

Ticket Home by Serena Bell

  • Title: Ticket Home
  • Author: Serena Bell
  • Series: Strangers on a Train
  • Genre(s): Contemporary
  • Publisher: Samhain, April 2013
  • Source: Review copy provided by author ($2.66 ebook)
  • Length: 77 pages
  • Trope(s): Workaholism, Reunited, Daddy Issues
  • Quick blurb: Workaholic entrpreneur tries to woo his ex back home.
  • Quick review: Adding this to my Swoon-Worthy Grand Gestures list.
  • Grade: B+

“So is that why you ran away?”

“I ran away, she said through gritted teeth, “because you were an asshole.”

I was floored when I learned this was Bell’s first published title. More like this, and she’ll be on my auto-buy list.

The only thing that kept this story from an “A” grade was the bit with the daddy issues — it felt like a too-much-thought-out attempt to give the heroine an angsty backstory to explain away her reluctance. The hero was an asshole, and his bringing up her manipulative father was just as manipulative.

I wavered on the final grade a bit…. Use of the phrase “ate his mouth like a starving woman” was groan-inspiring, but then I had to give bonus points for Big Brooklyn Guy’s one-liner at the end.

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Thank You For Riding by Meg Maguire

Thank You For Riding

  • Title: Thank You For Riding
  • Author: Meg Maguire
  • Series: Strangers on a Train
  • Genre(s): Contemporary
  • Publisher: Samhain, April 2013
  • Source: Review copy provided by author ($2.66 ebook)
  • Length: 72 pages
  • Trope(s): Trapped in a Subway Station, Smartass Heroine, Book-Reading-Glasses-Wearing Hero
  • Quick blurb: Platelet-donating, library-card-carrying man and recently-dumped accountant take advantage of being trapped in a subway station.
  • Quick review: A combination of perfect setting, characters and tone make this a truly sexy and romantic story.
  • Grade: A

Did I mention I live alone with a cat? Just got dumped, workaholic and occasionnally eats half a bag of shredded mozzarella cheese for dinner? With chopsticks? Get on this hot mess with your man-broom before someone else sweeps me up!

Everything about this story worked for me, especially the heroine’s stream-of-consciousness internal monologuing. Using chopsticks to eat shredded cheese out of the bag is BRILLIANT.

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Big Boy by Ruthie Knox

Big Boy by Ruthie Knox

  • Title: Big Boy
  • Author: Ruthie Knox
  • Series: Strangers on a Train
  • Genre(s): Contemporary
  • Publisher: Samhain, April 2013
  • Source: Review copy provided by author ($2.10 ebook)
  • Length: 72 pages
  • Trope(s): In Disguise, Role Play, Museum Sex,
  • Quick blurb: Once-a-month role-playing encounters turn into something more for a struggling single mother.
  • Quick review: Dear Ms. Knox: Wow. Love, Kelly.
  • Grade: A

Tonight, I want a sliver of honesty to pierce the illusion. A splinter of reality to carry in my pocket all month, to cherish with my fingertips, thinking of him.

Here comes the FANGIRL SQUEE, and you knew it was coming because I haven’t been shy about my author crush on Knox.

Every time I read her, something new and different knocks me over, and sometimes I can’t even figure out exactly what or why. With Big Boy, it’s the atmosphere. The dark, uneasy, secretive, lonely atmosphere. And she pulled it off in first person present tense. As my tweenager would say: “Mind. Blown.” (You’ll have to just imagine the required hand gestures.)

And with every Knox story, it’s her authorial voice. Distinct and memorable, but different every time. Knox inhabits her characters — and that’s something that will always keep me reading.

Hmm… That was a lot of italics. The next Knox book will have me using HOT PINK BOLD ITALIC ALLCAPS, and she’ll have only herself to blame.

Along Came Trouble by Ruthie Knox

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Along Came Trouble by Ruthie Knox

  • Title: Along Came Trouble
  • Author: Ruthie Knox
  • Series: Camelot, Book 2
  • Genre(s): Contemporary
  • Publisher: Loveswept, February 2013
  • Source: NetGalley ($2.99 ebook)
  • Length: 121 pages
  • Trope(s): Uptight Single Mother, Ex-Army Hero, Insta-Lust, Evil Ex,  Big Misunderstandings
  • Quick blurb: A single mother’s tightly-ordered life is disrupted when her pop-star brother insists on assigning her a security guard.
  • Quick review: More great characterization and smoking-hot chemistry, but the short timeframe and small-town antics got in the way of the relationship-building.
  • Grade: B

Get a grip, she told herself, but her libido had no claws, and the situation was slippery — a bizarre combination of socially awkward and inconveniently arousing.

So. I first attempted just a One-Quote Review because I’m lazy, but this book made me have THOUGHTS. And FEELINGS.

My THOUGHTS primarily centered around the realization that I identified with heroine Ellen. A LOT. While other reviewers labelled Ellen as “difficult” and bemoaned her resistance to going Full Damsel-In-Distress, I just wanted to smack Caleb upside the head and say, “DUDE. She’s a single mother with an abusive, unstable ex. And it’s only been a week. BACK THE FUCK OFF.”

Or, as Ellen reminds herself soon after she first meets Caleb:

She had to be on her guard against that feeling, to remain wary of reassigning agency from herself to a man. Be sufficient. That was the lesson of her relationship with Richard, the conclusion that she’d drawn from the first twenty-seven years of her life.

I have a lot more THOUGHTS about this subject, but it’s all TMI personal whining, so you’ll just have to get me drunk at RT to find out the rest.

My FEELINGS primarily centered around my annoyance with all the flaky secondary characters. One of the reasons I loved Knox’s first two books, and the novella that introduced this series, was the intimate atmosphere of the relationship-building, with the focus solely on the complex internal conflicts and angsty backstories of the main characters.

While there are some lovely moments of that in Along Came Trouble…

She couldn’t linger here with him, couldn’t let him make love to her this way. She needed him selfish and wild. Unimportant. Disposable.

…I felt the influx of siblings and in-laws and neighbors and paparazzi and cops and naked grandmothers and whatnot was just too much, and not what I expected from Knox. The kookiness felt forced, as if Camelot needed to meet all the criteria for a Standard Rom-Com Small-Town Setting. Although…after reading the author’s note, I am grateful the idiot pop-star brother was relegated to a supporting role.

But, in the end, of course, Knox’s writing makes all that nearly irrelevant…

It was seductive, feeling things. She’d forgotten.

…so now I’ll just shut up and keep reading.

One-Quote Review: How to Misbehave by Ruthie Knox

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How to Misbehave by Ruthie Knox

  • Title: How to Misbehave
  • Author: Ruthie Knox
  • Series: Camelot, Book 1
  • Genre(s): Contemporary
  • Publisher: Loveswept, January 2013
  • Source: NetGalley (99¢ ebook)
  • Length: 121 pages
  • Trope(s): Inexperienced Heroine, Angsty Hero, Trapped by a Storm
  • Quick blurb: Quiet community center director makes the most of an unexpected entrapment with a  local construction contractor.
  • Quick review: An amazing amount of characterization in only 100 pages. Also, hot storm sex.
  • Grade: A

Not like a cudgel at all. Like…wanting, if it had a shape.

Yes, I’m giving Knox YET ANOTHER “A” GRADE. I’m a fangirl. Just shut up and read this, it’s wonderful.

One-Quote Review: Selling Out by Amber Lin

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Selling Out by Amber Lin

  • Title: Selling Out
  • Author: Amber Lin
  • Series: Lost Girls, Book 2
  • Genre(s): Contemporary, Suspense
  • Publisher: Loose Id, February 2013
  • Source: Review copy provided by author ($7.99 ebook)
  • Length: 315 pages
  • Trope(s): Crusty Cop, Hooker with a Heart of Gold, Family Drama
  • Quick blurb:  A jaded call girl feels compelled to save a naive young runaway — and an enigmatic cop is trying to protect them both.
  • Quick review: The frenetic opening almost left me behind, but when I finally caught up, the intense atmosphere and complex characters had me hooked.
  • Grade: B

He was more deserving of love than anybody I had ever known, but it wasn’t even relevant to how I felt about him. Love wasn’t a choice, it was an accident. Not a climb, but a fall. I had slipped somewhere along my prickly path and down, down to the murky depths, hurtling ever farther, ever faster, and the only question was whether he would meet me at the bottom.

I probably should have read the first book in the series again before starting this one, because I felt more than a little bewildered during the first few chapters. But then Officer Luke showed up, and GOOD LORD.

And just as Lin captured the despair and hope of a struggling single mother in Giving It Up, the call girl main character here is anything but cookie-cutter. Shelly is bitchy and vulnerable and probably the most complex prostitute I’ve ever read in a contemporary.