One-Quote Review Tripleheader: Regency Novellas

The all-blue cover thing is just a coincidence, I swear.

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The Perks of Being a Beauty by Manda Collins

• Title: The Perks of Being a Beauty
• Author: Manda Collins
• Series: Ugly Ducklings, Book 3.5
• Genre(s): Historical (Regency)
• Publisher: St. Martin’s, June 2013
• Source: NetGalley
• Length: 125 pages
• Trope(s): Reformed Mean Girl, Reunited, Social-Climbing Employer, House Party Nookie
• Quick blurb: Penniless former debutante is unexpectedly reunited with the man she rejected years before.
• Quick review: Intriguing enough to add a few of Collins’ previous books to my library wishlist.
• Grade: B-

Then, as if he’d been dying to do this very thing from the beginning, he kissed her.

I didn’t realize before reading that this novella is a bridge between author’s previous series and upcoming series. We get only a few brief mentions of Amelia’s former bullying ways and an apparently infamous public outburst, and those glimpses aren’t quite enough to make an unfamiliar reader appreciate her atonement and redemption. But I loved the chemistry and enjoyed Collins’ voice enough to seek out her previous and upcoming titles.

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Miss Watson’s First Scandal by Heather Boyd

• Title: Miss Watson’s First Scandal
• Author: Heather Boyd
• Series: Miss Mayhem, Book 1
• Genre(s): Historical (Regency)
• Publisher: LLD Press, July 2013
• Source: NetGalley
• Length: 99 pages
• Trope(s): Workaholic on Vacation, Childhood Acquaintance All Growed Up and Sexy, Pain in the Ass Best Friend, Sequel Bait, Naked Swimming
• Quick blurb: Banker must serve foreclosure papers on his best friend, but gets distracted by the deadbeat’s surprisingly grown-up younger sister.
• Quick review: A good premise that deserves more pages.
• Grade: C+

“It’s not enough,” she whispered unsteadily. “It couldn’t possibly be.”

I’ve enjoyed several historical novellas by Boyd, and based on those works, Iwas expecting the titular scandal of this story to be a bit more erotic. It’s a nice bit of Regency fluff, but I’m hoping Boyd’s upcoming trilogy will have more bite and substance. The plus on the letter grade is for the puppy.

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A Scandalous Plan by Donna Lea Simpson

• Title: A Scandalous Plan
• Author: Donna Lee Simpson
• Series: N/A
• Genre(s): Historical (Regency)
• Publisher: Beyond the Page Publishing, May 2013 (re-release; first published 2003)
• Source: NetGalley
• Length: 99 pages
• Trope(s): Bored Spinster, Grumpy Widower, Plot Moppets, Disability, Gossiping Villagers
• Quick blurb: A widower is steamrolled by a local do-gooder who insists on making superstitious villagers accept his autistic child.
• Quick review: Not painful, but probably not worth a re-release.
• Grade: C-

It was time to disturb the surface and see what happened.

Another bit of Regency fluff, but this heroine verges on being annoying. She’s a more obnoxious version of Jane Austen’s Emma who blunders about with endearing plot moppets instead of matchmaking schemes. I got the feeling the mystified hero married her just to shut her up.

One-Quote Review: Skin in the Game by Jackie Barbosa

• Title: Skin in the Game
• Author: Jackie Barbosa
• Series: Play Action, Book 1
• Genre(s): Cntemporary
• Publisher: Entangled (Brazen), May 2013
• Source: Review copy provided by author
• Length: 250 pages
• Trope(s): Lady Football Coach/Math Geek, Injured Superstar, Lust in the Workplace
• Quick blurb: Pro quarterback gets involved with hometown high school coach.
• Quick review: Another one written JUST FOR ME.
• Grade: A-

In fact, she doubted anything could make him less hot, short of a restraining order from an ex-girlfriend.

Heroine is a prickly math geek and football coach. Hero is an angsty athlete who can do the dirty talk. Author knows her football — and her dirty talk.

One-Quote Review: Any Duchess Will Do by Tessa Dare

• Title: Any Duchess Will Do
• Author: Tessa Dare
• Series: Spindle Cove, Book 4
• Genre(s): Historical
• Publisher: Avon, May 2013
• Source: Edelweiss
• Length: 384 pages
• Trope(s): Smartass Heroine, Brooding Duke, Marriage-Obsessed Mama, Bad Knitting
• Quick blurb: Duke’s mother declares she can turn a barmaid into a duchess in one week.
• Quick review: Shut up and quit bugging me, I have to read the whole series again.
• Grade: A-

Her. I’ll take her.

The only other time I’ve used a gif in a review was the previous book in this series. So…yeah.

One-Quote Review: Never Too Late by Amara Royce

• Title: Never Too Late
• Author: Amara Royce
• Genre(s): Historical
• Publisher: Kensington, May 2013
• Source: NetGalley
• Length: 226 pages
• Trope(s): Bookselling Widow, Angsty Nobleman, Age Gap, Blackmail, Deep Dark Secrets
• Quick blurb: Young viscount falls in love with the older widow he’s been blackmailed into ruining.
• Quick review: A bit uneven, but I’m really looking forward to this debut author’s next title.
• Grade: B-

“I will never be done with you,” he said, low and fierce.

While I had issues with the rather melodramatic plot and the heroine’s Deep Dark Secret, I loved Royce’s voice and storytelling. The hero and heroine were equally compelling, the relationship-building was spot-on, and the sexy times were hot.

One-Quote Review: Gambling on Love by Nancy Fraser and Patti Shenberger

• Title: Gambling on Love
• Author: Nancy Fraser and Patti Shenberger
• Genre(s): Historical
• Publisher: Entangled (Scandalous), April 2013
• Source: NetGalley
• Length: 87 pages
• Trope(s): Runaway Debutante, In Disguise, Slavery, Gambling,
• Quick blurb: Southern belle hires riverboat captain to transport her father’s former slaves to safety.
• Quick review: Not painful, not much there.
• Grade: C-

Instead of a quote, I will make reference to the six (6) times the word “teat” is used in this story. Hence the minus added to the letter grade.

I don’t have much to say about this one — nothing too objectionable, but nothing memorable. The middle sagged with no real conflict, and the heroine was Little Miss Perfect throughout the story.

One-Quote Review: Bound to Be a Bride by Megan Mulry

• Title: Bound to Be a Bride
• Author: Megan Mulry
• Genre(s): Historical
• Publisher: Sourcebooks, April 2013
• Source: NetGalley
• Length: 87 pages
• Trope(s): Runaway Bride, In Disguise, Kidnapped, Bondage, Mistorical, TSTL
• Quick blurb: Runaway bride kidnapped by fiancé she’s never met.
• Quick review: Not painful, but more than a little ridiculous.
• Grade: D+

She had proved quite amenable, showing admirable equestrian and culinary skills and generally not making a nuisance of herself.

This story was all over the place, especially the wildly inconsistent, nearly-TSTL heroine and her education at the Convent of Handy Outdoor Survival Techniques.

The Last Gladiatrix by Eva Scott

• Title: The Last Gladiatrix
• Author: Eva Scott
• Genre(s): Historical
• Publisher: Escape Publishing (Harlequin Australia), April 2013
• Source: NetGalley
• Length: 77 pages (or maybe 109? it’s a novella anyway)
• Trope(s): Kidnapped Warrior Woman, Studly Centurion, All the Usual Stock Roman Characters, Insta-Lust, Insta-Love
• Quick blurb: Soldier offers to train a comely captive as a gladiatrix to save her from the shame of becoming a courtesan.
• Quick review: Cheese-fest from beginning to end, with a major “Oh, FFS!” moment that killed the entire book.
• Grade: F

The skin at the back of her neck prickled, as if in warning.

Yeah, that quote in the third paragraph should have been my warning of !!!Cliches & Caricatures Ahead!!! But I kept reading because it’s just a novella, how bad could it be? My status updates (below) sum up how bad it got.

I finished it (because I have enough fortitude to finish a damn novella, dammit), but even before the end of the first chapter, a bit of throw-away characterization made me lose all respect for the story and the author. This is our introduction to the general’s villainous aide-de-camp:

Maximus was slender and fine-boned, like a woman. He also possessed a woman’s love of gossip and — if rumours were true — a woman’s love of men. Yet Maximus did not like him, and Titus was happy to return the sentiment.

WHY was this included? It was completely pointless, because this temporary villain appears in only two additional (and very short) scenes. I’m guessing it was an attempt to make the FLAMING EVIL HOMO a glaring opposite of our MANLY AND OBVIOUSLY VERY HETERO AND MASCULINE AND DID WE MENTION MANLY? HERO, because, you know, how else would we grasp the immensity of his heroically heterosexual manliness? But at least the Flaming Evil Homo doesn’t have the hots for our Hero of Heterosexual Masculinity, because that would just be gross.

Badly done, Escape Publishing (an imprint of Harlequin Entrprises Australia). Badly done indeed.

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Read With Me Vicariously: Status Updates

• 18% – Cliche + cariacature + insta-lust while chained = I’m not sure if I can finish this…
• 20% – Loins are heating and unnamed forces are compelling…
• 23% – Dream sex. On a bed of soft golden cloud. Fever pitch, waves of sensation, pinnacle of desire, etc.
• 36% – Primeval masculinity, primordial drums, molten ecstasy and synchronized heartbeats.
• 46% – It’s a trap!
• 69% – An “oh, BARF” moment in the middle of the freaking arena. Sheesh.
• 82% – Uh-oh, hero is summoned by the Senator’s wife. I wonder what she wants… *wink wink*
• 82% – “In his experience women, especially high-born Roman woman, were dangerous – more dangerous than a host of Huns.”
• 86% – Senator’s sexy wife is reclining on a bed eating grapes. I shit you not.
• 100% – Plundering lips. The end.

Against the Tide by Elizabeth Camden

• Title: Against the Tide
• Author: Elizabeth Camden
• Genre(s): Historical, Inspiration
• Publisher: Bethany House, October 2012
• Source: Publisher
• Length: 362 pages
• Trope(s): Enigmatic Loner Hero, Tough but Nearly Desperate Heroine, Villain With a Fatal Weakness, Kidnapping, Addiction
• Quick blurb: Naval translator gets drawn into a former opium smuggler’s quest for redemption.
• Quick review: Another one for the “Written JUST FOR ME” category.
• Grade: A-

I’m always on the hunt for new and different in romance, and when it comes in the form of an inspirational historical suspense story centering on the opium trade in late 19th-century Boston – with a gorgeous cover as a bonus – I am helpless to resist.

I’ve read Against the Tide three times now, and I’ve been sitting on this review for months because I’m both enthralled and a bit conflicted. The characters are complex and memorable, and the setting and suspense had me in a full-on book trance even on the second and third reads. Only one element in the narrative bothered me enough to add a minus instead of a plus to the letter grade, but it’s one that’s central to the story.

Read the full review at Dear Author »

Book Anxiety, Part 2: Untamed by Anna Cowan

• Title: Untamed
• Author: Anna Cowan
• Genre(s): Historical
• Publisher: Penguin Books Australia, May 2013
• Source: NetGalley
• Length: 432 pages
• Trope(s): Heroine Who Says the F-Word, Hero Who’s Prettier Than The Heroine, Evil Gambling Father, Tragic Pasts, Sibling/Parent Issues, Deceit & Manipulation
• Quick blurb: A dandy in disguise changes the lives of a disgraced and debt-ridden family.
• Quick review: Again with the Book Anxiety, but a better outcome this time.
• Grade: C+

“I will write a book of bad ideas,” she said, pulling viciously at the buttons on her sleeve, “and the final chapter will be dedicated to this epic, gravity-defying feat of stupidity. And in a hundred years a celebrated English wordsmith will come across it and write a poetic tribute to the very bad idea that malformed in the brain of one demented duke. His work will run to eleven volumes before his vocabulary has even begun to do justice to how extremely bad this idea is.”

Oy. I need to quit whining for new and different, because more like this is going to kill me.

This is the Cross-Dressing Duke book. The author’s brilliant blog has had me captivated by her insights on the romance genre, and her tweets about research and characterization sent me to the “request” button on NetGalley within minutes of availability.

And then once again, I got my knickers in a knot by glancing — A MERE GLANCE, I TELL YOU — at glowing and scathing responses from reviewers I respect.

Based on those discussions, along with the author’s essay on the gender dynamics, I was more than a little surprised to see how little the seemingly touchy cross-dressing issue impacted this story. The Duke of Darlington is essentially just a “not very manly man” in a dress and a close shave, hiding from his peers until a scandal blows over. We learn that he’s a master of disguise in many forms, with a “cataclysmic” ability to influence the way others see and respond to him. I saw Jude’s dress-wearing not as a form of self-expression, but as a much-planned tactic in an ongoing campaign of strategic deceit and manipulation.

What makes Untamed such an antithesis to the much-bemoaned Regency fluff is the way every other character allows themselves to be deceived and manipulated. We know the duke will slowly unravel Kit’s mistrustful control of her heart. But as he draws the rest of her family into his thrall, the extended relationship dynamics take on a life of their own – with Kit (and the reader) desperately trying to make sense of it all.

However…there were a few elements that didn’t work for me, such as the random and unsustained POVs from secondary characters popping up at odd times throughout the story. At the halfway mark, we get Kit’s brother for a page or two. At some point, we get the brutish brother-in-law for a few paragraphs. And later, for some unknown and completely inexplicable reason, we get into the head of a barely-there-before ditzy squire’s daughter as she flirts her way through her first dinner party. Each time it kicked me out of my reading trance, and each time it was completely unnecessary.

What I struggled with most was the voice. I whine for a strong authorial voice, and Cowan’s knocked me flat – and it took me a while to recover enough to fully engage with the characters. The sheer abruptness of the tone worked great at establishing the angsty, edgy atmosphere, but it also left me…I don’t know…maybe “cautious” is the best word…for much of the story. Combine that with inconsistent sentence, paragraph and section breaks in the ARC I was reading, and I had a hard time getting past the writing itself and into the adventure.

However (and yes, I can totally use “however” twice and negate my own arguments because it’s my blog so just shut up about it)…like, Raybourn, Cowan took a huge risk with this story, and I’m thrilled that a major publisher is taking chances on The New & The Different. I cannot wait to read what Cowan writes for me next. Because it’s ALL FOR ME.

Book Anxiety, Part 1: A Spear of Summer Grass by Deanna Raybourn

• Title: A Spear of Summer Grass
• Author: Deanna Raybourn
• Genre(s): Historical
• Publisher: Harlequin (MIRA), April 2013
• Source: NetGalley
• Length: 384 pages
• Trope(s): Bad Girl with a Heart of Gold and Hidden Depths, Enigmatic Loner Hero, Colorful Cast of Supporting Characters, Very Convenient Coincidences
• Quick blurb: Disgraced socialite exiled to stepfather’s crumbling estate in 1920s colonial Kenya
• Quick review: After much pre-reading anxiety and post-reading obsessing, it didn’t work for me — but for more reasons than I expected.
• Grade: D+

“For Christ’s sake, woman. Don’t stand there mooning about. This is Africa. Go inside before something eats you.”

I’m a huge fan of Raybourn’s Julia Grey mystery series (countless re-reads, book trance every single time), so when I saw the cover and blurb for A Spear of Summer Grass, I sighed happily and thought, “Ohhhhh, she wrote a new one just for me.”

So why the Book Anxiety? It started with the usual “She’s one of my favorite authors, what if I don’t like it???” I sucked it up and made it through the two chapters with an initial dislike for the heroine, but no major red flags – so far, so good.

But then a quick glance at a few reviews – “horrible” and “DNF” from The Book Smugglers and the enlightening discussion at Dear Author – sent me flailing into the worst-case scenario of “What if I like it – but I shouldn’t???” So I moved it from currently-reading back to the to-read shelf and let the anxiety fester. For weeks.

I started reading again last night, and finished this morning around 3 a.m. It was a one-sitting read, but not a full-on blissful book trance. Instead of wallowing in the language and characters, I could not stop myself from focusing on all the elements that were so problematic for other reviewers.

Yes, this book does romanticize colonial Kenya – I don’t think there’s really any room for debate about it. Raybourn makes a valiant effort at providing context and addressing those concerns through dialogue with secondary characters, but those exchanges were forced and awkward, with a distinct “pay attention, this is important” vibe. I cringe to think of this story told in third person, because the first-person POV was the only thing that saved this story from a DNF. I couldn’t overlook bits like “his slender chest swelled with pride,” but experiencing them through Delilah’s privileged self-centeredness made them more palatable. Until, that is, the cringe-worthy and completely unnecessary Return of the Conquering Heroine scene. Ugh.

I’m not going to focus on the romance, because there wasn’t much of it. There’s very little relationship-building, and the Love at First Lion Killing moment arrived exactly as expected. Without his prequel novella, J. Ryder White would be a throw-away love interest.

This book is all about Delilah, and she’s a compelling and memorable character. She’s also too perfectly surprisingly suited for her unwanted role as Mistress of the Manor. Before even arriving in Africa, she’s already acquainted with or familiar with nearly all of her new white neighbors — including a former lover. The locals show up on her porch for her White Lady Magical Healing Powers, and we learn she was a volunteer surgical nurse during the Great War. She confronts the Evil Overseer, and we learn she spent her childhood summers on a Louisiana sugar plantation under the tutelage of her invincible great-grandmother. Her encounters with the obligatory “witch doctor” character reveal her innate Creole mysticism. And her ex-husband (one of several) just happens to be a high-powered attorney who’s willing to abandon his new family to travel for weeks to rescue her once again. The Very Convenient Coincidences just kept piling up.

Also…

• I hated the way Delilah treated her poor-relation cousin/lady’s maid.
• “Circle of Life” played on repeat in my head during Ryder’s impassioned “everything back into balance” speech.
• Helen is the colonial version of Lindsey Duncan’s deluded aging beauty character from Under the Tuscan Sun.

Therefore, the Book Anxiety wins this round.

However… Raybourn took a huge risk in writing this book. She deliberately chose a no-win historical setting and gave us an unapologetically sexually active heroine – nearly an anti-heroine – who shoots straight (literally and figuratively). This is no Romance-O-Matic Regency, and despite my disappointment, I want more like this.