- Title: Matzoh and Mistletoe
- Author: Jodie Griffin
- Genre(s): Contemporary, Erotica
- Publisher: Carina Press, November 2013
- Source: NetGalley
- Length: 92 pages
- Trope(s): Awakening the Innocent, Alpha Cop, Evil Abusive Ex, Sex in the Snow
- Quick blurb: Cop/Dom helps Nice Jewish Girl learn to give blowjobs.
- Quick review: Some really promising elements, but too much How To Be A Submissive In 100 Easy Pages
- Grade: C
He tasted like peppermint candy canes and kissed like a bad boy.
The Nice List….
- Jewish heroine.
- Dom who fucks up and apologizes.
- Unrequited love. For FIVE YEARS.
- Cat with an underwear fetish.
- I had to add something here to make it an odd-numbered list. It’s an OCD thing. Don’t judge me.
The Naughty List….
Or, in Snarkese, the Official BDSM-Lite Checklist:
✔ Heroine = Sexually Inexperienced Submissive, with obligatory:
- Lip-Biting as Proof of Innocence;
- Secret Slut Lacy Panties; and
- Prior Traumatic Experience as Trust Barrier (with the ever-popular “flinching at casual raised arm” reveal).
✔ Hero = Uber-Dom with a penchant for infantilizing pet names (“kitten” x 95) turned on by heroine’s Sweet Innocence, with obligatory Lifestyle Lectures:
- Why “Red” is a Good Safeword;
- The Sub has All the Control. No, Really; and
- Even Though You Barely Know Me, Trust Me. I’m a Dom.
✔ Villain = Evil Abusive Ex, with obligatory:
- Threatening Phone Call; followed by
- Sinister Late-Night Knock on Door; followed by
- Storming Off in Huff after Losing Staring Contest with Uber-Dom.
So here’s what I want….
I want this story re-gendered. I want a kick-ass female cop putting the moves on a non-white teacher hero who thinks wearing silk boxers is kinky.
I suppose that’s too much to ask for. A girl can dream.