One-Quote Review: Bite by Jenny Lyn

Bite by Jenny Lyn

  • Title: Bite
  • Author: Jenny Lyn
  • Series: Heated Measures, Book 1
  • Genre(s): Contemporary, Erotica
  • Publisher: Etopia Press, November 2012
  • Source: Provided by the author (99¢ ebook)
  • Length: 30 pages
  • Trope(s): Smartass Heroine, Food, Tattoos
  • Quick blurb: Smartass Heroine (did I mention the heroine is a SMARTASS?)  gets into hot water* with the instructor of her cooking class.
  • Quick review: Thirty pages of glorious smartassitude and stupidly hot smexing.
  • Grade: A

…My spine straightened at the scolding, but my mouth did what it knew best. “Well, that’s just a waste of perfectly good bourbon, if you ask me.”

…Crisis averted, he’d walked away, leaving me confused, frustrated, but still in possession of my eyebrows and a massive lady boner. I was hot for my teacher. The pork chops could go to hell.

..He flipped the chalkboard over. I read the intimidating words “Artichoke Soufflé,” and before I could perform the rare task of censoring myself, I blurted, “Oh, now you’re just fucking with us.”

…His gaze drifted down to my chest, stopping on the spot where I’d used a blue Sharpie to add the word “Me” behind “Bite,” the name of his restaurant. His eyes flicked back up to my face, staying there as he announced, “Class is cancelled for tonight, ladies.”

So, to hell with my stupid “One-Quote” format. That was all from TWO PAGES from the BEGINNING of this novella, and THEN it started in with the sexy times and I just about LOST IT. I don’t know what “it” was, specifically, but something down below was definitely off its usual axis when that Bite Me apron came off.

You’ll just have to READ IT YOURSELF to find out about the artichokes and the tattoos.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

*Yes, I KNOW that was totally cheesy and ridiculously obvious, but I DID IT ANYWAY. Once again proving why I’m a reviewer, not an author.

8 thoughts on “One-Quote Review: Bite by Jenny Lyn

  1. Darlynne says:

    30 pages? Are you telling me, someone who doesn’t like short stories, that this would be the best 99 cents I’ll ever spend?

    • Kelly says:

      True – I think I just automatically label anything in an anthology as a short story and anything standalone as a novella.

      Is there a standard number of pages for short story vs novella? I *refuse* to use the term “novelette.”

  2. Novelette sounds silly. Does anyone use that but Nebula awards? They say novella is 17,500-40,000 words, but there’s no universal standard. I guess 30pp is some people’s long short story and other people’s novella. I just kind of object to the idea of a 30pp “book” that isn’t a picture book. But hey, there are 5pp self-published Kindle “books,” so I guess I’m just a fogey.

  3. My rule of thumb is to pay $1.00 per 10,000 words (unless it’s from one of my mostest favoritest authors). This story is about 8400 words (# pages x 280 words per page = Total Words) and probably about 25 actual pages with story on them, according to my calculations, so normally I wouldn’t. BUT…since I can get it at Kobo for .64 cents with my 40% off coupon, I will!! Thanks for the review!

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