World Series of Romance: The Off Season

I’m avoiding finishing a baseball-hero-but-not-really-about-baseball book that just threw me a fucking curveball and I’m kinda pissed about it, so here’s what I’m doing to procrastinate, even though I really shouldn’t even still be reading because it’s almost midnight but insomnia SUCKS and NO I did not over-caffeinate and YES I took my meds today, WHY ARE YOU ASKING?

I need a boyfriend who will drink beer and watch baseball with me

Come, I will explain "third base" in the park.

No oral sex whatsoever going on at third base.

Baseball is fucking boring without handjobs

An excuse to admire how big your package looks while wearing a cup

Something you can wrap both hands around that's big, long and hard

More action in Wrigley Field locker room

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