One-Quote Review: Her Best Worst Mistake by Sarah Mayberry

  • Her Best Worst Mistake by Sarah MayberryTitle: Her Best Worst Mistake
  • Author: Sarah Mayberry
  • Series: N/A (sequel to Hot Island Nights)
  • Genre(s): Contemporary
  • Publisher: Self-Published, May 2012
  • Source: Amazon, $2.99
  • Quick blurb: Smartass heroine and uptight hero – the perfect combination.
  • Grade: A

 “Shut up,” he said, and then he kissed her, because there was no other way of conveying how he felt.

Kids: “Mom, what’s for supper?” Me: ….. Kids: “MOM!” Me: [waves absently towards the kitchen]. Daughter: “She’s reading one of those books again.”

One-Quote Review: Beguiling the Beauty by Sherry Thomas

He did dirty, delicious things to her.

I never quite warmed to this heroine, and I’ve never really bought into “in disguise” plots, but I have a huge weakness for scientific heroes who know how to do dirty, delicious things.

One-Quote Review: Takoda by T. M. Hobbs

  • Takoda by T. M. HobbsTitle: Takoda
  • Author: T.M. Hobbs
  • Series: N/A
  • Genre(s): Historical, Short Story
  • Publisher: Books to Go Now, January 2012
  • Source: Amazon, 99¢
  • Quick blurb: Kidnapping by “savage Indian” = Twu Wuv
  • Grade: D

His words made me feel an unusual feeling inside of me.

Simplistic first-person narration, a bare minimum of dialogue and the absence of any dramatic tension – combined with a ridiculously naive “plot” – make this short story read like a middle school homework assignment. (Lovely cover, though)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I tried this one because I was curious if the stereotypes from the blurb made it into the story:

Sara’s worst fears are realized, when she is taken captive by who she thinks is one of the same savage Indians who killed her parents. But her captor, Takoda, is different from those who robbed her of her mother and father.

The more time spent together, neither can deny their intense attraction. With every look, a passion burns between them, and soon she understands why Takoda took her from her home.

Will Sara let go of the hurt of the past and risk everything for her bronze skinned warrior?

The Cowboy’s Princess Wife by Mysty McPartland

  • The Cowboy's Princess Wife by Mysty McPartlandTitle: The Cowboy’s Princess Wife
  • Author: Mysty McPartland
  • Series: N/A
  • Genre(s): Historical
  • Publisher: Secret Cravings Publishing, January 2012
  • Source: Amazon, $4.99
  • Trope(s): Virgins, Alpha Males, Cowboys, Mystery Marriage, I Hate You Except When We Kiss
  • Quick blurb: Scottish Princess shows up on doorstep of Cowboy Earl claiming proxy marriage.
  • Quick review: I can’t decide which was worse – the bad history or the bad editing.
  • Grade: F

In the interests of fairness, and to prove that I’m an Equal Opportunity Crank, I decided to try out another title from the publishing house that signed Sable “Hell Yeah!” Hunter.

I chose The Cowboy’s Princess Wife because of the bodice-ripping title, the author’s stripper-rific first name and the blurb:

Even though she made a promise to her dying grandfather, Carlin only intends to deliver the letter to the Earl and leave. When he refuses to let her go she takes time to contemplate the situation and being attracted to him decides to give their marriage a chance.  Her husband was so annoying at times she re-thinks her situation and once again makes plans to leave.

Surprised at finding two beautiful women in his parlor Haydon cannot deny the overwhelming attraction he feels towards one of them. He is shocked senseless when he finds out his father has married him to the woman he desires. Bound by duty and honor he can never let her go. However, it doesn’t take him long to become irritated with her and all the crap she fill his house with. What makes him furious though was all the deception.

Can Haydon keep his princess wife safe? Can their love for one another over come all the obstacles?

Verb tense disagreement, missing commas and a house full of crap in the blurb? Wheee, let’s get started!

But before we get carried away….

Let’s take a look at the dedication page:

Author Dedication page - The Cowboy's Princess Wife

Reason #1 Why Secret Cravings Publishing Is Collectively Smoking Crack

The opening scene….

With her heart beating wildly in her chest, her stomach twisted in a knot of nervous tension, Carlin thought she just might be sick.

Oooh, barfing in the first sentence! But if this is a historical, shouldn’t she be casting up her accounts?

Her eyes wide open, she kept sweeping the area with fearful apprehension. Dear Lord, what had her sweet grandfather forced her into she silently asked?

All righty. So that’s the way it’s going to be. Thanks for the early warning.

Lord, she didn’t want to do this, did not want to be here, well she couldn’t do anything about it now since she already arrived, she despondently told herself.

I’m silently telling myself despondently that I don’t really want to read this but I paid $5 for it because I’m trying to prove a point so I’m damn well going to finish it.

“Och, Carlin, it dinna look too bad.” Layla tried to reassure her cousin….

Fake Scottish brogue and historically improbable character names. The WTF list is growing and we’re only on the fourth paragraph.

She definitely could feel herself becoming annoyed.

Well, we wouldn’t want her to waffle about it, so it’s a good thing she’s definitely definite.

Continue reading

One-Quote Review: Hard Tail by JL Merrow

  • Hard Tail by JL MerrowTitle: Hard Tail
  • Authors: JL Merrow
  • Series: N/A
  • Genre(s): Contemporary, M/M
  • Publisher: Samhain Publishing, May2012
  • Purchase:Amazon, $4.24
  • Quick blurb: Unexpected stint managing a village bike shop changes the life of a London “posh tosser.”
  • Grade: A-

As we stood there staring into each other’s eyes, I had the strongest, almost painful urge to kiss him. He’d had me at buggery.

Good lord, I barely recover from the last one, and now another A grade? You real writers are ruining my bitch cred. RUINING.

Bitches.

One-Quote Review: Country Mouse by Amy Lane and Aleksandr Voinov

  • Country Mouse by Amy Lane and Aleksander VoinovTitle: Country Mouse
  • Authors: Amy Lane and Aleksandr Voinov
  • Series: N/A
  • Genre(s): Contemporary, M/M
  • Publisher: Riptide Publishing, April 2012
  • Purchase: Amazon, $4.99
  • Quick blurb: Jaded Brit meets his match in seemingly naive American tourist.
  • Grade: A

“Look at me,” Owen whispered. “Look at me until you can’t anymore.”

Oh. My. God. You real writers are *killing* me. KILLING. ME. The smokin’ hot sex was more than enough, but the train station? Holy SHIT.